Lessons from Deborah

In our Bible Study on Wednesday nights the girls were assigned the task of researching a woman of the Bible that we admired and to write about what made her a great leader. My mind went to Deborah.

There are many great women in the Bible and each of their stories serve to tell us something about the way we have been created as women. As I go through and read their stories I am both encouraged and convicted about my life as a woman of God.

I didn't know much about Deborah except that she was the only woman Judge in the Bible and yet I have always admired her and to some degree envied her. Even before I began to research her she seemed to me amazing and unique, and I was sure she would live up to my expectations.

The name Deborah means "bee", which immediately caught my attention as my name also means bee. Every book and commentary that I read mentioned the meaning of her name and that she indeed lived up to it in that "she was industrious, sagacity (wise), and of great usefulness to the public, her sweetness to her friends and sharpness to her enemies." I love the last line that stated she was sweet to her friends and sharp like a bee sting to her enemies. I have always loved the idea that a woman was made to show the graceful, nurturing, sensitive, loving side of God as only a woman can and yet God did not make her helpless or weak, He also put in women a fierceness, strength, and ability to rise to the occasion.

That is exactly what Deborah did. She became a Judge during a period of time when Israel's enemy and oppressors actually resided within their borders, living among them. Because of this their oppression of the Israelites was much greater than it had ever been before. Yet Deborah answered the call from the Lord to awake.

Perhaps the enemies of Israel did not see her as a threat because she was a woman and therefore let her hold council under her palm tree without much opposition, or maybe she held court under the palm despite the danger to her life. If it was the first then they sorely underestimated this prophetess of God.

Like Daniel who prayed and followed God despite the lion's den, Deborah continued to do what God had called her to do. This blows my mind sometimes. I look at myself and how easily I get discouraged and I marvel at Deborah's strength. Often I start out to follow God and I yearn to go to the next level of my spiritual walk/relationship with Him. I go along making little sacrifices and little changes in my life to bring me closer to my goal when all of a sudden I find myself face to face with the life I want to have in Christ, only to glimpse the price that comes with it and shrink back.

I get a hint of the pain and suffering that comes from going through the refiner's fire and I falter. I decide that the level I am at isn't so bad after all and I'm comfortable there, so I stay, I give up and what is it that I am unwilling to do? Give up a favorite tv show that I shouldn't be watching, commit to going to bed a little earlier to give myself time to read His word, deny myself of worldly pleasures to better serve Him? I am shamed by those who suffer injury and lose their lives to live for God. Oh, to have the faith of Deborah and Daniel, to keep worshipping and following God at any cost.

As, the story goes on Deborah sends for a man named Barak and gave him a message from God saying to go to war against their oppressors and God would deliver them into the hands of the Israelites. Barak replied, "If you go with me, I will go; but if you don’t go with me, I won’t go." Deborah agreed to go with him but told him that because of this the glory of killing the general of the enemy army would be given to a woman. Arising from her place of council Deborah went with Barak and the army of Israel to face the Canaanite army.

Then Deborah said to Barak, “Go! This is the day the LORD has given Sisera(the enemy general) into your hands. Has not the LORD gone ahead of you?” Long story short, the Israelites massacred the Canaanite army and Sisera who escaped the battle was killed by a woman when he hid inside her tent.

Deborah, being a woman in the ancient world, could not command and army, but that did not stop her from working within the boundaries that God had put in her life to do great things, deliver God's people, and fulfill God's purpose for her life. She was fine with the limitations that God had given her and was willing to "share the spotlight" with Barak to complete the task which God had given them. "He could do nothing without her head, nor she without his hands; but both together made a complete deliverer, and effected a complete deliverance. The greatest and best are not self-sufficient, but need one another."

This is a hard lesson for anyone to learn. There are many times when I wish that I wasn't diagnosed with depression, or that I wasn't so shy or that I looked different and I have even wondered if I could be more use if I was the opposite gender. The thing is, God knew exactly what He was doing when He made me and you. He gave us our limitations and boundaries be they cultural, physical, emotional, or mental. He knows the limits placed on us and yet He still assigned us a great purpose to fulfill despite these things. That means that some boundaries we will have to conquer with His help and some limits we have to accept and work within them.

Deborah did not try to fight the rules that her society had placed upon her as a woman. Nowhere in her story do we see her complain about her gender or the role that came with it. Instead, she joined with someone without that particular limitation to help her get the job done. Like Deborah we have to sometimes be willing to step aside and let others help us in the tasks God has given us and remember to join with the one who has no limits, God.

There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.- Washington Irving

Admire or Follow

Last night I was convicted.

My mother recently read a book called Maximum Faith by George Barna and the whole time she was reading it she just went on and on about what a great book it was. She talked about it so much that I asked if I could borrow it to read after she had finished.

A couple weeks ago she handed it to me, excited for me to read it yet hesitant, knowing that with books my good intentions hardly ever come to fruition. Still, she gave it to me and despite her plea to get it back to her soon, it has sat at my bedside untouched until last night.

I breezed through the first chapter, stopping once to pray about something I had read and to muse over what he had written about Change vs Transformation. "Change is typically refinement that is short-term, impermanent, incremental, superficial, and of limited ultimate consequences. Transformation on the other hand in generally long term, permanent, systemic, deep, and monumental in its impact and consequences. Change merely alters a known reality; transformation radically redefines that reality."

Interest peeked, I moved on to Chapter 2 expecting the same easy yet interesting read, and that's pretty much what I got until a line from the book stopped me dead. It read, "We are not so much Christ followers as we are Christ admirers..." As soon as I read those words my hand raised it's hand in an invisible "Here" or "That's me" gesture.

I looked at my life, especially, since I've gotten out of high school, and that sentence has been exactly me. Suddenly, the definitions of change and transformation came back to me and connected with the sentence from the book. I realized that in my life Christ has been a movie star with a Mother Teresa reputation. I have been taught to look up to Him and to try to act like Him but that is all. I read His word or stories of His life and for a second I think, "I wish I could be like that" or "I wish I could do that" but then the thought is gone, choked by the worldly weeds of the day. Perhaps if a topic or trait hits me particularly hard I will make changes in my life to be more like Him but they are merely "short-term, impermanent, of limited ultimate consequence." Yes, I try to make changes in my life so that it will look more like His but am I willing to let Him transform my life? Am I willing to let Him have so much control over my life that my reality will become "radically redefined" and even unrecognizable?

I saw then that I look up to Christ for all His good deeds and wisdom but my life, my thoughts, words suggest that I am an Admirer of Christ more than a Follower of Christ. Looking up the definition of Admire purely for curiosity sake it said it meant "to marvel at" or "to like very much" or "to hold in esteem." Check, check, and check. I often marvel at God and I like Him very much and of course I esteem Him but do I follow Him?

So I looked up the definition of the verb to follow and checked myself against it.
1) To go, proceed, or come after. Do I actively run after God eager to join Him in where He is leading me or do I make small changes in my life to merely placate Him and myself that I am attempting to pursue Him? Fail
2) To engage in as a calling or way of life. I call myself a Christian and for the most part I imitate the Christian Life but am really truly living it in my inmost being and emulating it every minute of every day? Fail
3) To accept as authority. Yeah, I listen to God, when it suits me or if I agree with what He is saying or if it's not going to keep me from doing what I want to do. I obey Him in the big things. Epic Fail
4) To pursue in an effort to overtake. Now wait a minute, I barely pursue God now knowing full well that He is perfect and also knowing full well that I can never be perfect. Why fight a losing battle? We are all going to end up in the same place right. Fail
5) To watch steadily or to keep the mind on. Are my eyes on God and what H is doing in this world? Or am I in my own little world waiting for God to watch me and bless what I am doing? Is my mind on Him every minute of everyday, half the day? Fail
6) To keep abreast of. Am I walking side by side with God and Christ? Am I going with Him on the path that He has for me or am I trying to lead? Always trying to be one step ahead of Him and His timing? Fail

I'm ashamed to admit it but I am comfortable in my life. I have worked hard to control my surroundings and I enjoy the familiar. Yet God is calling me to more, to be more and I pray for the strength and the faith to follow and be transformed.