It seems to me that I am being convicted a lot lately. As I avoid reading God’s Word under the excuse of being too busy or too tired and so naturally move further and further away from the image of God and more towards my flesh, when I do hear The Word it is in the form of conviction.
This last Sunday the sermon was on 2 Timothy Chapter 3 which talks about what the hearts of people will be like in the last days and how to avoid being insnared by deception during those times.
I have always been skeptical when people tell me that we are in the last days. Seems to me that every generation thinks they are the last and all Christians think they will live to see Christ’s return. I found myself adopting a “That’s what they all say,” attitude and consoling myself with the verse that says that no one knows the time or date of His return.
Then my pastor said something that changed my attitude and perception. He reminded me that we have been in “The Last Days” since Jesus ascended into heaven and that the reason that Christians in every generation since are so sure that He will return in their time is because that is what they sincerely hope for. They are looking at His quick return as a wonderful promise, whereas I have been looking at it as a threatening one.
Why? Why do I want Him to stay away? Whenever I think about His return I say to myself that I am not ready. There are so many things that I have yet to do and experience. What does that say about me except that I have entangled myself with the things of this world and have not set my eyes on the eternal.
I look a it as a strict father returning home and putting a stop to all my games and fun. His return means that I have to stop living my way and start living His. How sad and warped is my view?! I have the same view of God as the servant who was given one talent in the parable of the talents did in Mathew 25:14-30
14 “For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them. 15 And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey. 16 Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents. 17 And likewise he who had received two gained two more also. 18 But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord’s money. 19 After a long time the lord of those servants came and settled accounts with them.
20 “So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, ‘Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.’ 21 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’ 22 He also who had received two talents came and said, ‘Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.’ 23 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’
24 “Then he who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’
The first two servants loved their master and looked for His return with great expectancy. They came to him as little children come to a loving father, so excited to show him what they had done to please him in is absence.
The other servant looked at the master quite differently than the first two. He looked upon the master not as a loving father figure but as a cold hard slave owner who he “knew” to be “a hard man” and looked for his return with dread.
Why do I see God as the servant with the one talent saw his master? I say with my mouth that I love Him and I sing of wanting His return and of His greatness but I live as a spoiled child trying to get as much as I can before the Father comes to claim me.
Change my heart, O God.
