Bathroom Etiquette

Ok so I know this is a bit of a... strange topic but, every time I go to use the restroom at my job I always witness some kind of restroom faux pas and it just irritates me. So, I am going to go through a couple rules for using a public restroom and hopefully make whoever reads this a better bathroom goer.

You are sitting at your desk, perusing the mall or standing in an hour long line at a theme park when suddenly the urge hits. You have to go to the bathroom and you have to go bad! So, you gather your purse and ID card, put the shirt you were looking at back on the rack or jump the guard rails and head to the public restrooms.

By the time you get there all you can think about is trying not to have an accident before you can sit on the polished porcelain and rush into the first stall that you see or, if you are at work, you rush into your favorite stall because lets face it if we've been there a few times we have a favorite stall. You lock the door behind you sit down and breath a huge sigh of relief that you made it. Unfortunately, whether intentionally or unintentionally you have broken the first rule of bathroom etiquette.

1. The Stall Between:

The stall between or the every other stall rule is oddly enough one of the most broken rules in the bathroom. I have to say that this is not just an annoyance to me but I have heard others in my office complain about this one as well. Whether you just don't think about it because you have to go so bad or whether you break this rule to obtain your favorite stall there is just no excuse for why a person (if available) shouldn't keep one empty stall in between you and any other occupants of the bathroom. This allows for a little bit of added privacy for the bathroom goer and is just polite. Every time this rules is broken in the bathroom I just want to ask the person next to me "Why?! There are 20 other stalls in this bathroom! Why did you have to pick the one next to mine?" Keeping a stall between you and the other pottiers, even if it requires you to give up your favorite stall is just good manners. I don't know about you but when someone is in the stall next to me it just adds a whole bunch of concerns(such as volume, aroma, cute shoes etc) and requires extra rules to be put into place. Note: This rule is void if bathroom is full or every other seating is not available.

2. The "Wait for it..." Rule:

If you are able this is a good rule to practice. When you are in the stall and you know that it's going to be noisy, you can just feel it ya know and there are other people in the restroom, there are a couple optimal times to let loose. a) When a toilet flushes and b) when a sink is in use. This rule is a flexible one and depends on several factors such as if you can wait for either of the optimal situations or if there are others in the restroom. Obviously if you are alone in the restroom or have diarrhea and absolutely can't hold it anymore then this rule doesn't apply. Going during these optimal times wont completely mask all the sounds but it will help the others in the room dismiss them sooner.

3. The "If It's Brown Flush It Down" Rule:

Now this one is a rule that benefits everyone in the bathroom. If you have to go #2 and it is stinky but you have to continue to sit there for awhile because you aren't completely done or you just feel like chillin, please for every ones sake, flush the toilet. Even if you are still using it, go ahead and flush the stinky stuff. This may seem a little weird but it will keep the smell from venturing out of the stall and will keep the whole bathroom smelling alot better. Believe me, others (especially those next to you) will thank you for it.




4. The "Personal Vanity" Rule:

When all is done and you leave the stall to wash your hands please follow this rule and don't spend forever infront of the mirror primping or preening. The public restroom mirror is not your personal vanity and there could be people in the stalls waiting for you to leave so they can follow rule number 2. Go in, do your business, wash your hands, fix a stray hair strand and then leave. Don't put on makeup, don't brush your teeth (oh yeah, it happens) and don't self analyze for ten minutes.

If you follow these simple rules you will make the public restroom experience a better one for all involved. I tried to do this post with as much class as possible but there is only such a level of class you can achieve when talking about this topic. lol