Every once in awhile I get a bug. Not a bad bug but a bug none the less and once I get one I love and I mean LOVE spreading it around to all my friends and just whoever I happen to come into contact with, including random strangers. So what is this bug that I have caught? It is the ARTSY BUG!
I first caught it in my late teen years when I figured out that I could draw any anime character as long as I had a picture to sight-copy it from. I have a couple sketchbooks to prove I could actually do it.
Then that faded and a couple years later came back but as drawing the characters and then taking it one step further and painting them. I have a couple canvas' to prove that lol
The next bought came when I was in the Hospital and one of the therapists did an art therapy class where she brought in mandalas and colored pencils also there was a puzzle that someone's family member had brought in and rather than listen to the insane rantings and get caught up in all the wards drama I would sit and quietly put together the puzzle with whoever wanted to join me.
This latest outbreak has been just recently in the last week or so. Nicole talked me into going to a restaurant called Fresh Coice and after we had dinner I wasn't feeling to good. I started feeling anxious and like I wanted to just cry. So we went on a walk through Joanne's Fabric store. I had no idea that they were a craft store and sold more than just fabric. Anyway, we were looking through the painting section to try to fin some little boxes to paint when we came upon the puzzle section. The puzzle all fairies and butterflies but it looked awesome so I picked it up. Then we came across a section that had all the painting supplies.
Isn't it pretty? But before you say or think that I did it all on my own I have to let you know that the picture is a paint by number set. lol Yes I know it seemed very kid-like to me to when I fist picked it up but now I love it. It lets me be artsy without having to be really creative, kinda an oxymoron I know. What's even better is that I got one of my really great friends to buy one to do when we are together.
I went over to her house to spend the night and after dinner I brought out my butterfly and paint and cup of water and brush and started in on the painting. As soon as she watched me mix two of the paints together she announced, "OK I have to get me one of those." There were no art stores open as it was eight o'clock on a Sunday so we got in the car and headed to Walmart. On the car ride over she talked about the many arts and craft projects that she used to do, everything from pillow making to drawing. She talked about how much she missed doing them and how she was so excited to be getting back into it, even just a little.
Then she said something that I have found to be true in my own life. She told me how important it was to keep being myself even when in a relationship and eventually in marriage. She (Caterina) was telling me how she used to love and be very much into arts and crafts but her husband is not so she slowly stopped buying them and working on her many projects. I found that very sad but unfortunately very common. I started thinking back on my last relationship and saw myself doing the same thing. Although my boyfriend had encouraged me to be artsy and creative there were other areas where I didn't recieve the same encouragement and understanding. At first I stood up for my individuality and pressed on despite his oposition, but eventually it just became too hard and I slowly started conforming and limiting myself to the "together" or "mutual" activities.
At first it wasn't even that bad and I enjoyed most of the time I spent with him but as time went on I began to feel more and more stiffled. The closeness became entrapment and I honestly began to miss myself. Even now I'm not quite sure how to be in a relationship and maintain yourself wholey or even if you are supposed to, but learning is half the fun right.
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