Japan

Almost since I can remember I have had a dream and a passion to go to Japan and preach God’s word its people. A dream because I have fallen in love with the culture, the language and the people and a passion because of the call I have received from Jesus Christ. I truly believe God has tailored my life to the missions’ field in Japan and here are a couple reasons why:

Japan has one of the highest if not the highest suicide rate in the world. The people have no hope and nothing to live for when all external comforts are lost. Back in 2004 I was diagnosed with chronic depression and an anxiety disorder. My brain doesn’t produce enough seritonin, or the “happy” chemical on its own and so I was prescribed medicine that I would have to take everyday to substitute for the shortage. Since then I have gone through 2 other serious cases of depression. The last one was in April of 2009 when my mom and step dad left to go to the Ukraine to do missions work and one of my best friends told me that he loved me, but he wasn’t a Christian so I had to tell him I couldn’t love him back and he left.

I felt all alone. To me it felt like everything had been lost. It was then that I started having thoughts like, “I wonder if anyone would notice if I was gone?” and “I’m so alone. I don’t want to be here anymore.” Things got worse and worse and eventually I couldn’t guarantee that I could keep myself safe. I soon found myself in a hospital for the suicidal and the mentally disturbed. I went in under a 72 hour watch. The whole time I was there I kept thinking that I didn’t belong and I would sit on my bed crying out to God asking why, if I was his child, was I going through this. Why hadn’t He cured me long ago and even now because I knew and I believed it was in His power to do so. It was then that my mind flashed back to that March day when I had just been accepted by JEMS to go on a mission trip to Japan. That day I had gotten on my knees before the Lord and asked that God give me a message to take to the people of Japan, a message that was powerful and that they desperately needed to hear. A message that was my own and that would reach their hearts. It was then that the lightbulb clicked on in my brain and God showed me that this, this was the message that He wanted me to bring to the people of Japan. He was grieved at the situation in Japan and He wanted to tell them that there is indeed hope when all things seem lost. There is someone to turn to when all others have left you and that he yearns to comfort your fears and your anxieties, he longs to mend your broken hearts.

There in that hospital, a peace filled my heart and mind. I knew it would be difficult, I knew I would struggle but I knew that God, my Father, would be there through it all. I left that hospital with a purpose. With the help of God, my friends and my church family I made it through to stand before you today. I won’t tell you that I don’t struggle anymore or that sometimes Satan’s thoughts don’t creep back into my mind but through His blood and with His power I am saved.

I am now finally planning to go on my first mission trip to Japan for 2 weeks late this year or early next. Please be in prayer for my health, both physical and mental. I know that God is going to do great things!